👻 Boo-yah, spooky season is here! Time for candy, costumes, and giggles that echo through every haunted hallway. Whether your kids are heading out to trick-or-treat, telling jokes at a school party, or just chilling with some pumpkin pie, this list of 101 Halloween jokes will have them howling with laughter.
So grab your pumpkin bucket and your sense of humor — it’s about to get spook-tacular!
🎃 Pumpkin-Perfect Jokes
- Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road? Because it had no guts!
- What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin!
- Why did the pumpkin sit on the porch? Because it had no drive!
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash!
- How do pumpkins fix their clothes? With a pumpkin patch!
- What do you call a pumpkin that tells jokes? A pun-kin!
- Why do pumpkins never argue? They don’t have the stomach for it!
- How do pumpkins get around town? On the gourd bus!
- What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash!
- Why do pumpkins make great friends? They’re always gourd-geous!
👻 Ghostly Giggles
- Why did the ghost go to the party? To lift everyone’s spirits!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream!
- Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them!
- What’s a baby ghost’s favorite game? Peek-a-Boo!
- What kind of street do ghosts haunt? A dead end!
- Why did the ghost go to the doctor? He was feeling boo-ish!
- How do ghosts wash their hair? With sham-boo!
- What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
- Why do ghosts like elevators? It lifts their spirits!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite room? The living room!
🧙 Witchy Wonders
- Why did the witch go to school? To improve her spelling!
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject? Hex-ercises!
- Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when angry? They’ll fly off the handle!
- What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Mas-scare-a!
- What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates!
- What did the witch serve her friends for dessert? I scream sundaes!
- What kind of pet does a witch have? A purr-anormal cat!
- Why did the witch’s team lose? Too many broom penalties!
- How do witches tell time? With a witch-watch!
- Why did the witch go to the beach? To surf her broomsticks!
💀 Skeleton Shenanigans
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to go with!
- What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room? The living room!
- Why don’t skeletons ever fight? They don’t have the guts!
- What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs!
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone!
- Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop!
- What do you call a skeleton who tells lies? A fib-ula!
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack? Spare ribs and bone broth!
- How do skeletons call their friends? On the tele-bone!
- Why did the skeleton stay calm? Nothing gets under his skin!
🧛 Vampire Vibes
- What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!
- What do vampires take when they’re sick? Coffin drops!
- Why did Dracula get a job at the blood bank? It was his type of work!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
- How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern…
- Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation!
- What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor? Vein-illa!
- Why don’t vampires like fast food? They can’t catch it!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangsgiving!
🧟 Zombie Zone
- Why did the zombie skip school? He felt rotten!
- What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies!
- What do you call a polite zombie? A dead gentleman!
- Why don’t zombies eat comedians? They taste funny!
- What’s a zombie’s favorite music? Dead Metal!
- Why do zombies love school? They can’t get enough brains!
- What do zombies say to their sweethearts? I only have eyes for you!
- How do zombies stay fit? Dead-lifts!
- What do zombies drink at parties? Ghoul-aid!
- What kind of cars do zombies drive? Monster trucks!
🕷️ Creepy-Crawly Corner
- Why are spiders great at online shopping? They love the web!
- What’s a spider’s favorite sport? Web-slinging!
- Why did the spider go to the computer? To check his website!
- What’s a spider’s favorite thing to do on Halloween? Spin out of control!
- What do spiders order at a restaurant? Fly soup!
- Why did the spider fail math? He counted his legs wrong!
- What kind of music do spiders love? Trap music!
- Why did the spider get promoted? He caught everyone’s attention!
- What do you call a rich spider? A web designer!
- Why did the spider join Instagram? To get more web followers!
🦇 Trick-or-Treat Time
- What do you call a skeleton who doesn’t like candy? Bone-dry!
- Why did the vampire go trick-or-treating? For the necks big thing!
- What kind of candy do ghosts refuse to eat? Life Savers!
- Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field!
- What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
- Why do mummies never take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind!
- What do you call a monster who loves candy corn? A sugar ghoul!
- Why did the cookie go trick-or-treating? Because it felt crumby!
- What do monsters eat on Halloween? Ghoul-ash!
- Why was the candy corn so confident? It was sweet to the core!
🧛♀️ Monster Mash Mix
- What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
- What do monsters call their parents? Mummy and Deady!
- Why did Frankenstein go to therapy? He couldn’t piece himself together!
- What’s a monster’s favorite song? Thriller!
- Why do monsters never eat ghosts? They taste like sheet!
- How do you stop a monster from charging? Take away its credit card!
- What’s a monster’s favorite bean? A human bean!
- What does Frankenstein put on his toast? Scream cheese!
- What do you call a lazy monster? A slob-ster!
- Why do monsters make terrible secret keepers? They’re always blabbing!
🎉 Knock-Knock Halloween Fun
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank. Frank who? Frankenstein, wanna go trick-or-treating?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you has my candy?!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howl. Howl who? Howl you doing tonight?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mummy. Mummy who? Mummy loves Halloween!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goblin. Goblin who? Goblin up all the candy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vampire. Vampire who? Vampire favorite trick-or-treater!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go trick-or-treating with me?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it’s Halloween?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo-lieve. Boo-lieve who? Boo-lieve it or not, that’s the last joke!
💫 Final Boo-tiful Words
There you have it — a real 101 Halloween jokes list to light up every kid’s face brighter than a glowing jack-o-lantern! Whether you share them during class, a family night, or while waiting for trick-or-treaters, these jokes will make your Halloween extra magical.
👻 Happy Halloween — may your laughs be loud and your candy stash never end!
